i am tired. such as it is that is vague and ominous for a first entry, but also the truth. with deadlines looming and feeling the need to censor myself. maybe i'll never know what is going in my mind for these days, weeks, months. not hours or minutes or seconds because time isn't measured by those now. anyway: i have the mouth of a sailor. it's not supposed to be offensive. it's just meant to be real.
ironically, i have been accused of being too quiet and uninvolved with the group of people i must somehow slog over through to the end of the semester with, but it is within those moments where i am just a little more than myself. eventually i will get on with the program and deliver what i'm supposed to, so it's probably a right assessment that i don't like being judged on how i display my emotions. "is everything okay?" and "are you alright, is everything okay at home?" can only get more annoying than what it originally already was. talking to a friend of mine opened up the very real possibility that it was just a gesture of niceness, but too bad the message encoding was stifled to begin with. i get it, though. but with the 8th time of someone asking you that same question, it just gets so annoying that you shut down whatever good intentions you think there might be.
it's the sunday of yet another weekend that has gone by too fast. two weeks of a break that will be filled soon with school anyway. joy! pretty much this little online space is for updates of whatever real life i have. i do have another blog, but that is mostly for fannish and online tendencies, and the last time i updated was a couple of weeks ago to ask people to do that fucking dumb survey. before that was a gap for a few months because i was either lazy to update, or not having time to. probably the former.
oh, and yeah, fuck capitalizing. e.e cummings didn't need those either. but watch as i get fickle and decide that proper capitalization should be used in other entries. haha.
ironically, i have been accused of being too quiet and uninvolved with the group of people i must somehow slog over through to the end of the semester with, but it is within those moments where i am just a little more than myself. eventually i will get on with the program and deliver what i'm supposed to, so it's probably a right assessment that i don't like being judged on how i display my emotions. "is everything okay?" and "are you alright, is everything okay at home?" can only get more annoying than what it originally already was. talking to a friend of mine opened up the very real possibility that it was just a gesture of niceness, but too bad the message encoding was stifled to begin with. i get it, though. but with the 8th time of someone asking you that same question, it just gets so annoying that you shut down whatever good intentions you think there might be.
it's the sunday of yet another weekend that has gone by too fast. two weeks of a break that will be filled soon with school anyway. joy! pretty much this little online space is for updates of whatever real life i have. i do have another blog, but that is mostly for fannish and online tendencies, and the last time i updated was a couple of weeks ago to ask people to do that fucking dumb survey. before that was a gap for a few months because i was either lazy to update, or not having time to. probably the former.
oh, and yeah, fuck capitalizing. e.e cummings didn't need those either. but watch as i get fickle and decide that proper capitalization should be used in other entries. haha.
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