one of those.

when people don't adhere to the fucking deadlines that i set. stop giving me a reason to dislike you as a person. to that one-woman team: i feel your pain.

at wit's end.

i don't know how the fuck i'm supposed to finish two presentations by wednesday, a written report and four print ads by that day, and a full magazine layout by tomorrow.

you know what just played on my itunes? no sleep tonight. i'm not even kidding. no sleep tonight, or tomorrow, or wednesday. maybe even thursday. i'm going to die before this week's over.

this is when hiro nakamura can come in handy.

i don't usually cry over school but this week might be an exception. kudos, mass comm. i love you so.

i don't have time to do this.

sometimes i wish i'm one of those super-organized, know-where-they're-heading people. mostly because i'm so seriously disorganized and un-time managed that things like that slip through the cracks of my fingers without my realizing, and before long it's oh-my-gosh there's no time now and everything just goes to shit and by that time there is absolutely nothing i can do to salvage this situation. why me? why.

the blinking colon on the clock mocks me.

i'm so doomed. for life.

looming.

22: ALW short story.
23: media management business plan (target audience, price, place); feature magazine (all pages).
24: tv production demo show.
25: advertising mock presentation.
30: mrm research project final presentation and report.
1: advertising final presentation.

i'm gonna haunt you for the rest of your life.

It's really silly to blog-hop (especially when I have no time at all) and come across a blog of someone you used to treat as a confidant, reading them speak of someone else in the same capacity. Stupid, stupid memories. It'll seem stupid and fruitless in a while like it really is. Have you ever read Jeff Lindsay's Dexter? He writes about the concept of the Dark Passenger. Of a conscience taking over your own and you being just the vehicle. For Dexter's case, it's the Need to murder. But I think what comes through deeper is that every single one of us have a Need. Don't you think? A Need for achievement. Attention. Companionship. Common things like that.

What am I babbling about? I have no idea.

School is turning on its gears really fast and I'm getting injured by the spocks of its wheels, I'm convinced. My personal organizer has been filled up rapidly and it really scares me how much everyone expects out of a bunch of not-even 20 year olds. Four deadlines in a week and none that I can brush off. It leads down to choices, maybe things I should have done weeks and weeks ago. But guess what? Ms. Procrastinator strikes again for the umpteenth time. Big surprise. So now I'm left with days to achieve what I should have in weeks, and hours to do what I should have done in days. On and on. This fucking crazy situation is going to drive me to insanity soon. Whining aside, let's hope I deliver everything in quality and on time. I've never failed that, not really, sans a really horrid experience with the final group project for Web Design last semester.

What have I learned this semester, but will once again fail to adhere to the next study semester? I will learn that I need to choose my fucking team mates with care. First impressions are important, yes, but if you play off your decision with that? Fucking screwed, man. Fucking screwed. Kind of like me right now. Blahbitty blah blah.

Welcome to life.

so i'll hide yours with mine.

i'll see it through.

sometimes it feels like i keep trying and trying and there is no point to everything because everything is gonna fuck up in the end.